Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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