You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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