i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I think I won the penis lottery.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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