Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
