Your face is a jimmy john
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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