We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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