Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
