I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
