Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
