That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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