PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
