I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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