I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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