so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
