Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
