I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
