dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize