You can't special order awesome
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
