don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize