Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
