high people should be assigned attendants
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
