If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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