singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
