i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
