he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize