See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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