WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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