It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize