i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Two words: nipple clamps
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