just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize