Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
