In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
