Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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