not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
