Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
