summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
