Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
