Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
it's like iHOP with fire
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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