So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
