wanna go halves on a baby?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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