I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
