She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
