Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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