tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
