I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
