i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
