We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
