My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
