Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
