she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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