do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize