shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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