I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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