If that was your dad, he is hot
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
