Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
