i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
