I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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