Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
