She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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