Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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