I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
