Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
