i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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