I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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