let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Every concussion has its silver lining
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
