I think I won the penis lottery.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
is wine microwaveable?
He felt like a one man threesome
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
