Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
