Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
