I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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