i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
