We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize