I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
