worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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