I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
